


What Again

by yeaka



Series: WTF Universe [2]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies), Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Ficlet, Fluffverse, M/M, WTF
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-08
Packaged: 2017-12-18 04:18:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yeaka/pseuds/yeaka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Back in the fluffverse, not everything’s fluffy. ...For Spock, anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Acaranna](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Acaranna/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [Что на этот раз?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5982334) by [WTF_Star_Trek_2016](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WTF_Star_Trek_2016/pseuds/WTF_Star_Trek_2016)



> A/N: A cheer up thing for my dear friend Acaranna~ 
> 
> Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Trek or any of its contents, and I’m not making any money off this.

Jim tells him he loves him at least once a day, but Jim says that to every member of his crew. It doesn’t really _mean_ anything anymore, and when Jim leans over the console of a blushing ensign and gushes, “That’s brilliant, Pavel! I love you!” Spock’s chest tightens. 

Jim’s nice, of course. He made it through the Federation by being _nice_. He hugs everyone, all the time, for very little provocation, and although that’s standard in the human race, it’s a little difficult for Spock to handle. His human side requires cuddling too, and he understands that being _nice_ is how one rises in the Federation. But his Vulcan side wants to reserve hugs for when a situation really calls for it, and when Jim latches onto Dr. McCoy like he never wants to let go... Spock’s colder than he should be. 

He feels a little numb. He’s sitting a meter away from them at the science station. He watches out the corner of his eye as Dr. McCoy disentangles himself and puffs up a little. “Naturally, but we knew I’d find the cure at some point.”

“Yes,” Jim laughs. “But Spock was working on it, too.”

Dr. McCoy scoffs. They’re right next to Spock. They must know he can hear. But Dr. McCoy isn’t as nice as everyone else—he probably got by from _Jim liking him._ “I think we both knew I’d get it. A science officer isn’t a doctor.”

“Still, Spock solves all sorts of messes for me.”

Spock looks over just in time to see Jim smiling fondly at him. Spock’s body rises back up to normal temperature, even though he’s still frowning. He would’ve solved it eventually. It’s good that the doctor found a cure. A cure. That’s what matters. 

Dr. McCoy reaches forward and takes Jim’s hand. That’s a little more intimate than a hug, or maybe it’s the Vulcan side reacting to hands, to Dr. McCoy’s thumb brushing over the back of Jim’s knuckles. Dr. McCoy leans into Jim’s ear, whispering, though Spock’s superior Vulcan hearing picks it up with only mild strain, “You could do better, Jim. We both know that. He’s too cold.”

Jim whispers back with a hint of a chuckle, “You’re cold.”

“You’re not with me. If I had you, I could make you feel human and alive in ways a Vulcan never could.”

Jim shivers all over and gently shoves Dr. McCoy away. Dr. McCoy shrugs and goes back to grinning, strolling off the bridge. 

Jim wanders over to drape his arms over Spock, leaning over Spock’s console, nuzzling into the side of Spock’s face, and Spock doesn’t feel _human or alive_ at all.

That’s not the first time it’s happened. Usually the incidents are farther apart. But things seem to be concentrating. 

Then they’re in the mess hall, eating lunch, Jim trying to feed him food, and Spock feeling awkward and uncomfortable with eating out of hands, but doing it anyway because: _Jim_. Jim shoves a plate of fries forward and says, “Just try it. They’re finger foods. They leave salt on your finger you get to lick it off.” He winks suggestively. 

Spock, cheeks colouring faintly, shakes his head. 

He can hear Hendorff from Security mumbling quietly at the table to their left, “Why does the Captain pick a Vulcan? He’s the captain—he could do so much better.”

Spock gets chipped away. He tries, but he doesn’t fully understand these creatures—everyone around him is human or something else that seems to fit so easily in. People hug, people kiss, people hold hands, and Spock goes through the motions with everyone that isn’t _Jim_ , and the final straw is when he’s in the turbolift and Sulu doesn’t really say it. 

Sulu asks innocently, “How’re you today, Captain?”

Jim sighs. It’s just the three of them on the rising platform. “Eh.” Just eh. No indication either way; neutrality. 

Sulu turns and gives Jim an awkward side-hug, rubbing his shoulders a bit. Jim laughs and brightens, and Spock wonders _why didn’t he think of that._ Sulu gives Spock a look that says the same thing. And then Sulu gives Jim a look that says what the Doctor said and what Hendorff said and what Scotty said down in Engineering yesterday and Uhura said on the bridge and what they’re all thinking: _Jim could do better_.

Spock’s late to Jim’s quarters for their 3D chess match. He’s never late. He’s too Vulcan to be insecure. He’s not worried. He’s not upset. He’s just a little... a little...

Jim opens the door with the smile of a sun, the way he always does. But he sees Spock and he frowns and Spock _hates that_. Maybe if he were a better boyfriend, if he understood this universe a little better, he would never make his captain frown. 

Jim lifts a hand to Spock’s cheek and asks, “What’s wrong?”

“I have determined...” Spock’s throat is suddenly dry. Jim’s stroking his cheek. The door’s still open, and they’re caught in that awkward space between intimate and public. Deep breath. “I have determined that I cannot give you what you deserve. As your first officer, it is my duty to ensure that the captain of this vessel is at his premium.”

Jim blinks in surprise, lips a little parted, gorgeous blue eyes open. A moment passes, and Jim asks simply, “Are you trying to break up with me?”

Trying? Spock lifts an eyebrow. There’s a lump in his throat. He doesn’t want to do this. But he must do what is good and right and he loves Jim enough that he can make the ultimate sacrifice. 

“You’re not breaking up with me,” Jim repeats more firmly. He looks sterner than Spock’s ever seen him. “I love you. I love you a lot. More than I’ve ever loved anyone. What the hell do you think you’re not giving me that I deserve?”

Are Spock’s cheeks a little green? They feel like it. Trust Jim to not make this easy. “The affection.” 

“You’re affectionate.”

“Not to the extent of others. The fact remains that you could... ‘do better,’ so to say.”

“Do better?” Jim scrunches up his face like he’s been hit with gobbledygook from another language that didn’t make it through the translator. “How the hell am I supposed to do better than a big, sturdy, handsome man whose arms I feel completely safe and warm in?” Jim's face glazes over for a second, and he practically drools, “Not to mention your long, thick, beast of a—”

“Captain, I believe you are getting side tracked. It is my firm belief that you could—”

Spock doesn’t get to finish his sentence, because Jim’s leapt at him, crossing the threshold from quarters to hallway. He latches himself onto Spock, arms around Spock’s neck, mouth on Spock’s and tongue slipping into his open mouth. Spock’s initial reaction is to mewl, and Jim kisses him long and languid. It’s with a wet pop that Jim lets go, and then he nuzzles into the side of Spock’s face and coos, “I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you. You’re the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t be insecure. Don’t be shy. You’re too awesome to be anything but brave.” Sighing, Jim does concede, “But if you tell me you don’t love me, I’ll let you go.”

How could Spock ever say that? It takes him too long to get his arms around Jim’s body, warm and the perfect fit. He buries his face in the side of Jim’s golden hair, and he holds onto those sunshine strands and the small of Jim’s waist as he says, “I do love you. It’s because I love you that I want the best for you.”

“You’re kind of a dummy sometimes,” Jim chuckles. He pulls back to kiss Spock’s cheek, and then he purrs, “I love you anyway.”

So much for that. Now Spock couldn’t let go if he wanted to. 

He doesn’t want to. 

Jim pulls him backwards through the sliding doors, cuddling him tight and whispering sheer beauty. Spock’s a warm ball of happiness, more Tribble than Vulcan, like any man would be in Jim’s arms.


End file.
